Michael Jackson in the 90s

Michael Jackson has been back in the spotlight this past month to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Thriller. He’s riding a wave of nostalgia powerful enough, it would seem, to make people forget/ignore what he’s become in the intervening years. People love Thriller (and what Thriller represents) THAT much!

Part of me is very excited about this. I have been a BIG Michael Jackson fan for a long time, and it’s gratifying to see him recognized for something other than kookiness. And Thriller is awesome, an incredible piece of work.

But there’s “another part of me”(!) that, frankly, resents the revival and sees it as fair-weather friendship, one that fundamentally misses the boat when it comes to Michael Jackson.

What do I mean? For those of us interested in the practical ramifications of the Christian Gospel - a.k.a. how judgment, demand, scrutiny and conversely, love, forgiveness, and mercy play out in everyday life – there is NO more interesting case study than Michael Jackson. (No, not even Britney Spears!). And not Thriller-era MJ, I’m talking about Michael Jackson in the 90s. Dangerous-era, HIStory-era, Lisa Marie Presley-era, etc.

The 90s also happen to be my favorite period of his, when I would argue he produced his greatest music. I realize this is a controversial opinion, so let’s be clear: Michael Jackson is strange, strange man, full of contradictions, and a true megalomaniac. Deranged? Perhaps, I don’t know. I may have agreed with the not-guilty verdict re: the “allegations”, but I would never go so far as to label him innocent. Not knowing him personally, I don’t feel qualified to comment more than that. What I do feel qualified to comment on, however, is his art: his music, his dancing, and his videos, but especially his music.

By 1990, Michael Jackson had been in the public eye for over 20 years, roughly since the age of 10. This includes the 1980s, when he may well have been the most famous person on the planet. And his fame was well-deserved: he was that rare celebrity whose creativity and talent matched his charisma. (People often forget that Michael wrote and co-produced nearly all of his major hits). But if his 90s output is to be taken at face value, the success brought with it unbearable pressure and scrutiny. Suddenly everyone (in the world!) was entitled to have an opinion about him. Judgment with a capital J!

Take the Free Willy song, “Will You Be There?”, released in 1991 on the album Dangerous. After a truly ridiculous choral intro, we hear Michael plead with a gospel choir for love and understanding, crying “I’m only human!” over and over. It’s powerful. The exhaustion continues in “Black Or White”, where he (and Slash!!) tells us, “I’m tired of this devil/I’m tired of this stuff/I’m tired of this business”.

The final masterpiece on Dangerous is “Who Is It”, another in his series of paranoid anthems (“Billie Jean”, “Smooth Criminal”, “Leave Me Alone”, “Ghosts” etc), where he confesses, “the will has brought no fortune/still I cry alone at night/don’t you judge of my composure/cause I’m lying to myself” and then finally, “I can’t take it cause I’m lonely!” It’s the sound of a man hanging by a thread.

Of course, elsewhere on the record is “Heal the World”, a song so sappy it makes “We Are The World” look edgy. (Sidenote: the absurd range in quality found on a Michael Jackson album, with nigh-perfect tracks alongside ones so bad they produce secondhand embarrassment, is one of the many ways he reminds me of Brian Wilson.)

As dark as Dangerous gets, it doesn’t hold a candle to the second disc of 1996’s HIStory. Which is ironic, considering that the first disc of HIStory (a defacto greatest hits) has got to be one of the most overt attempts at self-deification ever unleashed. The cover depicts our hero in statue form, for crying out loud! It’s not subtle.

But HIStory disc two, or HIStory Continues, is Michael at his most personal and vulnerable - his Plastic Ono Band, if you will. It opens with my all-time favorite MJ single, “Scream”. Over a chorus of breaking glass and slamming doors, he and his sister Janet yell, “stop pressuring me/just stop pressuring me/stop pressuring me/[you] make me want to scream” before finally begging, “somebody please have mercy cause I just can’t take it!” Woah.

I don’t see how anyone who’s actually listened to “Scream” could argue that it’s not operating on a deeper, more profound (albeit less fun) level than Thriller. Sadly, he made it impossible for us to just listen – we had to look too, and his appearance, by this time, had become way too bizarre. Just check out the video, where he unfortunately looked EXACTLY like the alien he was trying (not?) to portray:



The second track on HIStory, right after “Scream”, is another blast of disaffection called “They Don’t Care About Us”. Then comes the inspired “Stranger in Moscow”, the loneliest of all his lonely songs, where he mentions his "swift and sudden fall from grace" and asks, “how does it feel/when you’re alone and you’re cold inside?” As if that's not intense enough, he also makes reference to Stalin's tomb, the KGB and nuclear Armageddon. We're a long way from "Rockin' Robin".

Michael’s solution to all this pain and fear: Peter Pan-style retreat to childhood, a place he associates with the unconditional love, joy and freedom he's never known. I know I’m treading on (very) shaky ground here, but taken out of the courtroom context, doesn’t this seem to jive, at least a little, with Jesus’ words in Mark 10 about little children and the kingdom of God? On second thought…

I could go on - don’t get me started on the brilliance that is the Blood On The Dance Floor EP – but my point is this: when St. Paul tells us that “the letter kills” (2 Cor 3:6), he’s not kidding. The fruit of the law here, i.e. “thou shalt be the King Of Pop”, is alienation and loneliness, anger, depression, writer’s block and, yes, in all likelihood, more sin. A starker contrast to The Traveling Wilburys one could not find.

The burden of being Michael Jackson is something no one should ever have to bear. That he would crack up under that kind of pressure, that he would even try to transform himself into a different person, was a foregone conclusion. (Substitution, anyone?!). I’m just grateful his talent didn’t abandon him in his struggles. I hope he finds the mercy he’s dying for.

I Just Love What You've Done With The Place

"Hell," said Jean-Paul Sartre, "is other people." Perhaps the author of The Terrible Toll of Art Anxiety in this morning's NYTimes had these words in mind when describing what she calls "Art paralysis": "[the] widespread and often crippling malady, striking everyone from the new college grad in his or her first apartment to the super-rich banker, lasting anywhere from a few months to a lifetime."

The article continues, "One major reason for art paralysis, many experts say, is the feeling that when buying art you are opening yourself to ridicule. “Art has always been a barometer of class,” said Jonathan Santlofer, a Chelsea painter and novelist. “If you buy the wrong thing and people come to your house, you’re exposed."

Remove "Art" from this diagnosis and you've got a perfect description of the human condition: fear of exposure resulting in paralysis. Although this fear can manifest in just about anything, this article reveals how fundamental it is to many of the aesthetic "choices" that we make. It seems that the illusion of "personal taste" as something emanating from within persists only because accepting the truth is too painful: that all of us have a group of judges before whom we sit and from whom we crave acceptance and affirmation. The problem is that even when we have this approval, the very existence of the chance of rejection keeps a ember of anxiety always burning. Every day brings another trial, and "Life anxiety" arises when the verdict of any of these various courts is in doubt.

This is why the message of God's unconditional love towards us through Christ is so crucial. It is the only way that the flame of anxiety can be turned down, much less extinguished. As St. Paul writes, 'There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus;" God's verdict on our lives is unlike that of any other judge--parents, teachers, friends, spouses, ourselves--in that on account of the Cross, his acceptance is unconditional and unwavering. This is a message I need to hear every day, because I am acutely aware of the paralyzing fear of judgment, the hell that really is the fear of other people, and the glimmer of hope and peace that I've found through the message of the Gospel--the message that I'm both fully exposed and loved at the same time.

The Incredible Shrinking Bride

This morning on Newsweek and msnbc.com there is a great article in the Health section entitled "The Incredible Shrinking Bride: How the Pressure to Look Perfect on the Big Day Is Leading Some Women to Extremes." While hardly breaking news (who hasn't come across a bride-to-be who's freaking out about her wedding?!), it was interesting to see how the quest for perfection affects people and, in this case, pushes them past any concern for their own well-being.

The article talks of women developing life-threatening eating disorders in order to achieve weight loss, taking up smoking as another method of weight loss, spending enough time in a tanning salon to develop skin cancer, and getting "cheap" plastic surgery to fix blemishes that can result in permanent damage to their bodies. The quest for perfection really only seems to be leading these women closer to some form of destruction. These methods not only fail to bring about the desired result (aka, physical perfection), they actually appear to make things worse.

It's easy to dismiss such examples of extremism. They are the exception, not the norm, right?! I would argue that this example is, in fact, not unique. The demand for perfection can be found in all of our lives. Some form of it, at least. And while it may not always have such a visible effect, if you look close enough, the devastation is never far behind.

For the full article click here.

February Playlist

What I've been listening to this month:

1. Daniel [Elton John cover] - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy and Tortoise
2. Cain Said To Abel - Bloc Party
3. Tell 'Em Willie Boy Is Comin' - Tommy James
4. The Comedians - Roy Orbison
5. Stranger In Moscow - Michael Jackson
6. Midnight's Another Day - Brian Wilson
7. Again And Again - Bob Mould
8. I Believe In You [Dylan cover] - Cat Power
9. When The Lights Go Out - Derek Webb & Sandra McCracken
10. Will You Be There - Michael Jackson
11. Goodbye Daughters Of The Revolution - The Black Crowes
12. I Met Jesus In A Bar - Jim Lauderdale
13. Nutted By Reality - Nick Lowe
14. Run Away - Super Furry Animals
15. You're Still A Mystery - The Beach Boys
16. Beautiful Beat - Nada Surf
17. That's How People Grow Up - Morrissey
18. The Angels Hung Around - Rilo Kiley
19. Maybe I'm Amazed (live) - The Faces
20. Ghosts - Michael Jackson

Strength In Weakness (at the Oscars)

Even better:

Nepotism, Take 2 - PZ in the 80s

In honor of my father's institution last week as rector of All Saints in Chevy Chase, here are a couple excerpts from his first book, "Who Will Deliver Us?". It was published in 1983 (just as Thriller was hitting its stride!) and is now sadly out-of-print. Perhaps Mockingbird should look into reprinting it? [Ed note: now back in print! Click here to purchase.] Here goes:

"An old joke is repeated year after year in the graffiti on public buildings. Someone writes for all to see, 'Christ is the answer.' After it someone has added, 'But what is the question?'. The addition is perceptive. Unless Christ is a response to a question we are really asking, it makes no sense to say that he is the answer...

Is there a real problem to which the atonement of Jesus Christ offers a solution? What is irremediable about the human condition that it should require a death for healing to occur? The extreme nature of the solution, one person's death for the 'salvation' of others, presupposes an extreme need on the part of the others." (pg. 9)
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"I am suggesting that the fear beneath all fears, which in turn creates the stress, depression and anger of everyday life and human history, is fear of judgment. This is to say, the fear of ultimate condemnation, because fear of judgment implies condemnation... And condemnation spells a loss of status and position that in turn connotes a radical diminishing of the self, to the point of non-being." (pg. 16-17)
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"How can something that happened long ago meet the judgment that afflicts us now? We have proposed that the problem of being human is essentially a factor of fear. We live our lives under judgment. Whether it is for wrongdoing in a conscious mode or the pervasive, irrational, multiform fear that we are worthless and no good, we live our lives under judgment. St Paul's way of stating this is that humanity is under law... But, says Paul, God has intervened." (pg. 38-39)
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"If a transition were possible in human experience from lives devoted to unsuccessful strategies attempting to overcome fear, to lives of heroism and trust, then many of us would be interested. If it were really possible to make a move from cowardice to heroism - and not because of duty, but because the roots of cowardice had been dug up, exposed, and withered, and it was no longer necessary for us to be cowards - then many of us would try. I believe the atonement of Jesus Christ has made such a transition possible. Both vindicating the rule of law and terminating it, the atonement has opened a route to freedom that points to the possibility of heroism in human lives." (pg. 45-46)
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"Christianity promises many things. It promises above all else peace and joy in believing: It promises freedom from judgment, hence from fear. It promises joy in the present because the future is secured. It does not, however, promise exemption from sorrow and pain. Quite the contrary, it pleads suffering as its center." (pg. 69)
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"Although it is an overused word today, honesty is a fitting synonym for what the Bible calls repentance. Honesty is a truth-telling about our experience that has given up on strategies of flight, appeasement, or confrontation. Honesty means facing up to a tragic situation. In the New Testament, honesty is exemplified in Paul's confession that his righteousness, his claim to moral superiority - let alone integrity - in the face of judgment, is equivalent to garbage (Phil. 3:8). In the light of such honesty, God's imputation to us of Christ's moral perfection is a precious gift." (pg. 73-74)
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"A ministry based on atonement allows for an anchored trust. We do not underestimate the force and brunt of affliction. But we interpret our way through it by means of a secure hope that is anchored in the past. Providence puts the burden of hope on God. It does not expect too much from our personal exertions. Not much we do is likely to diminish the fear and suffering that exist so pervasively throughout our histories. But God, as the Bible never tires of saying, will keep us from falling. While we shall retain a healthy suspicion of ourselves, our efforts and our motives, it is finally he who is 'at work within us, both to will and work for his good pleasure' (Phil 2:13). God provides." (pg. 79)

Grace, Spontaneity and The Traveling Wilburys

In the late 1980s, a remarkable thing happened. George Harrison was asked by his label to record a b-side for one of the singles from his big comeback album, Cloud Nine. Through an amazing set of circumstances, he and his producer, Jeff Lynne (of Electric Light Orchestra fame), found themselves in the studio with Bob Dylan, Tom Petty and Roy Orbison! The feeling was so good that they decided, on the spot, to make a full album together, and release it under the name The Traveling Wilburys. There had been no plan - it just happened. But don't take my word for it:


The True Story Of The Traveling Wilburys part 1.

Kern ( I Want to Be Dylan ) Little | Myspace Video
(If the video's down, go here.)

For me, the story of the Traveling Wilburys is a great example of grace. These guys were friends; they loved and respected one another. And with the exception of Petty, the "relevant" phases of their careers were behind them. The pressure to make important records, to prove themselves, was gone. In its place they found freedom, creativity, spontaneity, (lots of) humor and a shared love of rock n' roll.

Listen to their records - they were finally reissued a couple months ago - the joy literally leaps out of the speakers! And what's more, there's not a trace of ego to be found! It's the kind of thing we all want in our lives (the fruit of the Spirit?), but which can never be engineered or commanded, the sort of thing we need to be surprised by.

It's worth noting that the Wilburys phenomenon poured over into each guy's solo career, resulting in number one hits for Harrison ("Got My Mind Set On You"), Orbison ("You Got It") and Petty ("Free Fallin", "Won't Back Down" - in fact, the entire Full Moon Fever record).

Here's the video for their first single, "Handle Me With Care":

ER Clip - Who Will Deliver Us?

Isaiah 53:5, 1 John 1:8-9

True Compassion

I found yet another fascinating article in the New York Times this morning. It is entitled "'Have You Ever Been in Psychotherapy, Doctor?'" In the article, psychiatrist Dr. Richard Friedman tells the story of one of his psychiatric residents being posed this question by a patient. The resident was thrown by the question, but he realized the answer was of highest importance to the patient. He told Dr. Friedman, "'He wanted to know if I knew what it felt like to be ill and helpless.'" The patient was looking for true compassion.

The word "compassion" is defined by its two parts, com- and pati, which mean "together to suffer" or more simply "co-suffering". The patient in this story needed someone who understood his suffering on more than just a superficial level, someone who had even experienced it themselves. A cerebral, textbook approach simply would not do.

Isn't it often the case that when we want to be understood, we find comfort in those who have experienced what we have? When the person trying to help us can't relate to us, their desire to simply "fix" the problem can have the unintended affect of obscuring our need for understanding/compassion, making us feel dismissed or unimportant (I know I have been on both sides of this equation!).

Dr. Friedman makes an excellent point, that connecting with our own pain and suffering is probably the most important step to being able to offer help to anyone else. It's true: the knowledge that we are all in the same boat - broken people in a broken world - often produces true compassion for our fellow man. Underneath all of this, of course, I can't help but be reminded of the One who suffered everything in order to rescue us in the midst of our suffering.

"For since He Himself has suffered when tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted." Hebrews 2:18

For the full article click here.

Fear, Love and Worship - Fitz Allison

"God's love is not controlled by some heavenly cosmic valve that the angels open a little when we do something proper... Everything we learn from Scripture and from Christ teaches us that the free flow of God's love is not blocked at his end but ours."

Great Prank

Self-Control?

This morning the New York Times contained an article entitled "Conflict on the Menu". The topic was controversy over new legislation that will require all fast-food restaurants in New York City to put caloric information next to the items on their menu. The legislation is an attempt to curb obesity in the city.

Now, laws like this always seem to raise debate over the size of government and its involvement in our daily lives and decision making, but the controversy in this article is actually within the anti-obesity movement itself. There is disagreement over how effective putting caloric info on menus will be. For more details, check out the full article.

The irony of this story is when asked about the controversy over this subject existing within the obesity field Dr. Kelly D. Brownell, director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale, said, "The field is incapable of policing itself."

It makes me wonder that if the very group pushing for such legislation cannot "police itself" how do they expect the average person to do the same even with such information in front of them? All of the legislation attempting to stop people from smoking in the city doesn't seem to have worked. Maybe this time we'll be able to control ourselves.

The Origins of Self-Help (no joke)

Yesterday my sister-in-law Bonnie informed me that the first ever self-help book was written in 1859 by a Scottish man named Samuel Smiles(!). It was titled “Self-Help”, and the first sentence was “Heaven helps those who help themselves”.

The rest, as they say, is history! Amazing...

David Tyree

Did anyone catch(!) the recent NY Times article about Superbowl hero David Tyree?! I know I missed it when it was published a few days ago. But it's an unbelievable piece - a straight-up conversion testimony! Two things come through loud and clear:

1. Adversity was the catalyst/means of his conversion. Speaking of his 2004 imprisonment for drug possession, Tyree says, "What looked to be the lowest point in my life ended up being the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

2. His newfound faith has produced a tremendous outpouring of love. Shortly after it happened, Tyree and his wife started a non-profit that counsels teenagers. One of these kids was quoted in the article, saying, "[Tyree] doesn't come off like he's a big football player... I think of him as my uncle. I just love him."

Read the entire article here.

Karl Jung and Romans 7

Lately I have become interested in the work of the (in)famous psychologist Karl Jung, especially his studies on the “shadow self.” Here are a few amazing quotes from this brilliant man that I think resonate deeply with what St. Paul says in Romans Chapter 7.

Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.

"Psychology and Religion" (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.131

It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster; and each individual is only one tiny cell in the monster's body, so that for better or worse he must accompany it on its bloody rampages and even assist it to the utmost. Having a dark suspicion of these grim possibilities, man turns a blind eye to the shadow-side of human nature. Blindly he strives against the salutary dogma of original sin, which is yet so prodigiously true. Yes, he even hesitates to admit the conflict of which he is so painfully aware.

"On the Psychology of the Unconscious" (1912). In CW 7: Two Essays on Analytical Psychology. P.35

We know that the wildest and most moving dramas are played not in the theatre but in the hearts of ordinary men and women who pass by without exciting attention, and who betray to the world nothing of the conflicts that rage within them except possibly by a nervous breakdown. What is so difficult for the layman to grasp is the fact that in most cases the patients themselves have no suspicion whatever of the internecine war raging in their unconscious. If we remember that there are many people who understand nothing at all about themselves, we shall be less surprised at the realization that there are also people who are utterly unaware of their actual conflicts.

"New Paths in Psychology" (1912). In CW 7: Two Essays on Analytical Psychology. P.425

Life and Ministry Conference

Good News: On April 3-5, 2008 Mockingbird will be hosting its first annual Life and Ministry Conference!

Come join us in New York City as we spend a few days together in fellowship exploring the implications of the gospel for our lives and ministries. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Our prayer is that we all walk away encouraged and hopeful.

Our keynote speaker will be Dr. Steven Paulson from Luther Seminary in Minneapolis, MN. He, along with our additional speaker Dr. Paul Zahl, will address the theme of "God's Grace in a World of Glory".

Check out the conference web-page at www.mockingbirdnyc.com for more information. We would love to see you all there!

Brooklyn

Why Kids Lie

A few excerpts from the cover story of this week's New York Magazine. Fascinating stuff:

"In the last few years, a handful of intrepid scholars have decided it's time to try to understand why kids lie.... [In an extensive study conducted by Dr. Nancy Darling at Penn State, high-school students were] handed a deck of 36 cards, and each card in this deck listed a topic teens sometimes lie about to their parents.

'They began the interviews saying that parents give you everything and yes, you should tell them everything,' Dr. Darling observes. By the end of the interview, the kids saw for the first time how much they were lying and how many of the family's rules they had broken. Darling says 98 percent of the teens reported lying to their parents.

Out of the 36 topics, the average teen was lying to his parents about twelve of them. The teens lied about what they spent their allowances on, and whether they'd started dating, and what clothes they put on away from the house. They lied about what movie they went to, and whom they went with. They lied about alcohol and drug use, and they lied about whether they were hanging out with friends their parents disapproved of. They lied about how they spent their afternoons while their parents were at work. They lied about whether chaperones were in attendance at a party or whether they rode in cars driven by drunken teens.

Being an honors student didn't change these numbers by much; nor did being an over-scheduled kid. No kid, apparently, was too busy to break a few rules."
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"For two decades, parents have rated 'honesty' as the trait they most wanted in their children. Other traits, such as confidence or good judgment, don't even come close. On paper, the kids are getting this message. In surveys, 98 percent said that trust and honesty were essential in a personal relationship. Depending on their ages, 96 to 98 percent said lying is morally wrong.

So when do the 98 percent who think lying is wrong become the 98 percent who lie?"
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"By their 4th birthday, almost all kids will start experimenting with lying in order to avoid punishment... Most parents hear their child lie and assume he's too young to understand what lies are or that lying's wrong. They presume their child will stop when he gets older and learns those distinctions. [Researchers] have found the opposite to be true - kids who grasp early the nuances between lies and truth use this knowledge to their advantage, making them more prone to lie when given the chance."
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"By the time a child reaches school age, the reasons for lying become more complex. Avoiding punishment is still a primary catalyst for lying, but lying also becomes a way to increase a child's power and sense of control - by manipulating friends with teasing, by bragging to assert status, and by learning he can fool his parents."
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"Many books advise parents to just let lies go - they'll grow out of it. The truth is, kids grow into it."
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"Pushing a teen into rebellion by having too many rules was sort of a statistical myth. 'That actually doesn't happen,' remarks Darling. She found that most rules-heavy parents don't actually enforce them. 'It's too much work,' says Darling. 'It's a lot harder to enforce three rules than to set twenty rules.'

A few parents managed to live up to the stereotype of the oppressive parent, with lots of psychological intrusion, but those teens weren't rebelling. They were obedient. And depressed."
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"In the thesaurus, the antonym of honesty is lying, and the opposite of arguing is agreeing. But in the minds of teenagers, that's not how it works. Really, to an adolescent, arguing is the opposite of lying."

Four Particularly Fine Sci-Fi Fantasy Book Covers

Shakespeare In Love

Thanks to RJ, a relevant snippit of dialogue from the scene where Geoffrey Rush's character explains the theater business to his angry financier:

Rush: "Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theater business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster."
Fennyman: "So what do we do?"
Rush: "Nothing... Strangely enough it all turns out well."
Fennyman: "How?"
Rush: "I don't know. It's a mystery."

Where Did All These Trouble-Makers Come From?

"An unconditional gospel-promise will always be suspected of fostering all sorts of theological and ethical mayhem: quietism, formlessness, antinomianism, cheap grace, social irresponsibility, and moral laxity. The ills of the modern world sooner or later will be blamed on the gospel- or some distorted form of it. 'Now that the gospel has come,' Luther quipped 'men have learned the fine art of blaming all the evils of the world on it! As if these evils were not in the world before the gospel!'" (From Gerhard Forde's "A More Radical Gospel")

Flight of the Conchords and St. Augustine

As a minister I always find it interesting when people ask me the question, “What should I do?” Most of the time they seem to have an answer in mind, and what they're really asking for is validation/permission (or for an opportunity to get mad at me!). The Flight of the Conchord’s song “Part Time Model” is a hilarious illustration of this, in particular the part where they sing:

I ask Dave if he’s gonna make a move on you
He’s not sure - I say, “Dave, do you mind if I do?”
He says he doesn’t mind but I can tell he kinda minds
But I’m gonna do it anyway

In this light, the question “What should I do?” seems silly, almost a catch-22. After all, if what the Bible teaches is true, and we're incapable of doing the right thing (for the right reasons), wouldn't a better question be "What do I want to do?" or "How do I deal with what I've done?" I think the hope of the Gospel is that, whatever we do or have done, Christ has died so that we can be forgiven. In the words of St. Augustine, “love God and do what thou will."

Walker Percy - Signposts In A Strange Land

"When it is asked just so, straight out, just so: 'Why are you a Catholic?' I usually reply, 'What else is there?' I justify this smart-mouthed answer when I sense that the question is, as it usually is, a smart-mouthed question."

"The present age is demented. It is possessed by a sense of dislocation, a loss of personal identity, an alternating sentimentality and rage which, in an individual patient, could be characterized as dementia."

"It is difficult to see how the man, woman, or child who watches TV eight hours a day, in which the good triumphs every half hour on sitcoms, cops and hospital shows, can be open to the Good News."

"It, my 'anthropology' has been expressed better in an earlier, more traditional language - e.g. scriptural: man born to trouble as the sparks fly up..."

Susan Sontag

Until this past Sunday, all I knew about Susan Sontag was that she was one of the intellectuals interviewed in Woody Allen's mockumentary "Zelig", and that the Manic Street Preachers cited her as an influence (one check in the plus column, one in the minus...). This changed yesterday when Tim Keller quoted from the NY Times review of a new book by her son David Rieff, an account of her final illness called "Swimming In A Sea Of Death":

"Sontag’s confrontation with her own ordinariness is the most intriguing element of Rieff’s story. For a woman who had always believed in her own exceptionality, who had defined herself by her will to be different, to rise above, the terrifying democracy of illness is one of its most painful aspects. Throughout her final illness, she tells Rieff, 'This time, for the first time in my life, I don’t feel special.'

In the most profound and affecting passages of the book, Rieff questions whether, on some level, his mother thought that she was too special to die. He investigates the line between hubris and bravery, grandiosity and vitality. Do we ever truly accept that we will die? Is there a part of the mind, especially for someone as ambitious, as avid, as Sontag, that refuses to believe in its own extinction?

Rieff enumerates the qualities that enabled her to transcend her unhappy girlhood in Arizona and her early unhappy marriage to become one of the country’s most formidable intellectuals. 'Her sense that whatever she could will in life she could probably accomplish ... had served her so well for so long that, empirically, it would have been madness on her part not to have made it her organizing principle, her true north,' he writes. That same belief in the power of her own desire, that spectacular ambition, that intellectual bravado, made it impossible to accept that fatal illness was not another circumstance she could master."

Jeff Tweedy

I can't think of any song, sacred or otherwise, that sums up my feelings about Jesus better than "Reservations" by Wilco. Though the song isn't actually about Jesus, I've always wondered what its writer, Jeff Tweedy, makes of Christianity. That he's interested in it is undeniable. I even remember reading an interview where he admitted to gravitating toward the Gospel content of older country songs.

A quick look at some of Wilco's recent setlists confirm this: "Satan, Your Kingdom Must Come Down", "Airline To Heaven", "Christ For President", "Be Not So Fearful", "War On War", "Theologians", "The Ruling Class", etc - they've even covered "In Christ, There Is No East Or West" a couple times!

Still, he's hard to nail down, and maybe that's for the best. During a solo show in 2005 at Messiah College (a small Christian school in PA), he had this to say:

"I sincerely have a lot of respect for the Christian faith and of all people of faith… You gotta have something in this world.

I don’t think it’s weird at all for someone that’s into rock music to sing songs about Jesus or Satan or fear or hope…. I think one of the things that’s really beautiful about rock music is that it’s one of rare places that people go in their lives where they join together with a bunch of people and raise their voices and sing along with somebody and transcend themselves to find themselves as a part of humanity as opposed to being apart from humanity. And I think that that’s a beautiful thing…

Unfortunately there have been a lot of times where people have missed that experience in church, and they’ve found it in other places without knowing that’s what they were finding. Anyway, that’s where I feel like I’ve gotten where I am."

Johnny Cash sings Nick Lowe

A lot of people don't know that Nick Lowe was married to Johnny Cash's step-daughter, Carlene Carter. Here's Johnny doing one of Nick's songs, "The Beast In Me", which I think was also featured in an episode of The Soprano's. It's pretty powerful: