Mockingbird at the Movies: I've Loved You So Long

Last week while choosing a movie to rent, I stumbled upon one that I have been wanting to watch since its release last year, the French film I've Loved You So Long. I had thought it was a romantic comedy, but I was completely blown away by what it actually was - a story of despair and redemption, of our own inner prisons and the freedom of unconditional love, of law and pure gospel, of the grace that breaks into our world as light into darkness. I abreacted twice with tears.

The story is a mystery that unravels subtly and intelligently, so I will try not to give away too much. However, I will say this about the storyline: Juliette, the main character, is haunted by a heinous act that she committed many years ago. She moves in with her sister Léa (and her family) and tries to start her life anew. But we soon find out that Juliette's extremely painful memories have robbed her of the ability to relate to other people. She shuts off every person who tries to approach her in love. The movie tells the story of Juliette's intense and overwhelming emotional grief and her humble efforts at re-establishing herself in society, reconciling with her family, and re-learning how to live despite her past. It also tells the story of Léa, who without any reserve, accepts and loves Juliette, attempting to understand the incredible weight upon her sister and give her time to heal individually and with other people.

Juliette's story is the universal story of regret seeming more powerful than hope, of the burdens of the past enslaving us to believe that love and faith are useless - whether they be disappointment and disillusionment in relationships, broken and unfulfilled dreams, specific things we have said or done, or just the pervasive feeling of complete desperation because we cannot seem to "get over" something - and that we are doomed ultimately to death and pain.

As the psalmist writes "Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak" (Psalm 31:9-10).

Even Jesus was "despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering" (Isaiah 53:3). In one scene in the movie, Juliette and her friend contemplate Emile Friant's painting "Pain." The robes of the mourning women in the painting, with their engulfing darkness and the endless hole of death in the forefront, illustrate the ceaseless depths of Juliette's anguish, much like the suffering we often feel and cannot overcome.

However, just like the film's title, the movie is not primarily about the pain Juliette feels, but about the redemptive love that comes into her life from the outside and changes her heart to know freedom and grace. The French title "Il y a longtemps que je t'aime" can be translated both as "I've Loved You For So Long" and as "I Loved You A Long Time Ago." The redemptive love of Christ is both these at the same time - for God so loved the world that He gave His only son at Calvary a long time ago, and, because of the resurrection, He is alive and has loved us since before we were formed in the womb. God is a God who redeems us when we are still sinners, who loves us and gives us life when we deserve nothing but death.

So, the Gospel is in this movie as much as it is in reality. Christ, who invites us to come near to Him and to give Him our burdens, offers forgiveness at the feet of His cross. Our powerlessness and our sin open the way for God to pour his grace into our brokenness so that we would depend and trust on Him rather than on ourselves. Ours is a true love, a true hope and a true salvation because it does not rest on us, but on the living God, Jesus Christ. Now, go see the movie!

Happy Birthday Kierkegaard!

Today is Søren Kierkegaard's b-day! What better way to celebrate than to read some of what he has to say? Enjoy!

“The one whom the human race crucified was the Redeemer; as someone belonging to the human race, I for this very reason feel the need for a redeemer – never has the need for a redeemer been clearer than when the human race crucified the Redeemer. From this moment I will no longer believe in myself; I will not let myself be deceived, as if I were better because I was not tried as were those contemporaries. No, apprehensive about myself as I have become, I will seek my refuge with him, the Crucified One. I will beseech him to save me from evil and to save me from myself…I will not enclose myself in myself with this anxiety for myself without having confidence in him…”

"It was said of Christ that he would reveal the thoughts of many hearts, and this he did. How? Simply by proclaiming grace. He who proclaims the law forces a person into something. People try to hide themselves when faced with the law. But grace, the fact that it is grace, makes them completely unconstrained. Face to face with grace a person really learns to know what lies deepest within. Tell a child to do something – this does not mean the child does it, nor do you really get to know the child’s nature. No, but say, “You are free, you may do as you please” – then you find out what lies deepest in the child."

"But divinely understood to love oneself is to love God and truly to love another man is to help him to love God or in loving God."


And I leave you with a prayer:

“Oh Holy Spirit, you who give new life, we pray for ourselves but also for all people. Here there is no want of capabilities, nor of education, nor of sagacity – indeed, there may rather be too much. But what is lacking is that you take away that which is corrupting us, that you take away our power and grant us new life. Certainly a person experiences a shudder like death’s shudder when you, in order to become the power in him, take power away from him. So, help us also to die, to die to ourselves… Oh Holy Spirit, take the reigns of our lives and rule us. May it be you that has the power.”

Up on a Mountain - The Welcome Wagon

The song "Up on a Mountain" by The Welcome Wagon has been haunting me recently (in a good way). It is a simple song about the simple truth of the Gospel - that Christ came down to save us from our sin. And just as it should, it hits me right in the heart:



Up on a mountain
Our Lord is alone
Without a family, friends, or a home
He cries, "Oo, oo, oo, will you stay with me?"
He cries, "Oh, oh, oh, will you wait with me?"
Up on a mountain
Our Lord is afraid
Carrying all the mistakes we have made
And He knew It's a long way down
Do you know It's a long way down?
Up in the heavens Our Lord prays for you
He sends His spirit to carry us through
So it's true
That you're not alone
Do you know He came all the way down?
So it's true
That you're not alone
Do you know He came all the way down?

Here's what Sufjan Stevens, the producer of the album, has to say about it:

First things first: this is not complicated music. But church music—the kind that invites public participation—shouldn’t be...“Up On A Mountain” works as a prelude in which cascading melodies and naturalist theology simulate the salvation of the soul and the soothing of human loneliness, all evoked in the metaphor of “heights.” Monique Aiuto takes the mic for a disarming study of the Christian paradigm of God made-manifest, a mystic divination of the wilderness, God as “native,” preternaturally holed up in the hollows of a remote mountainside, who descends, at last, to a society of thankless infidels. The classic mountaineering chronicle of the “up/down” is a familiar Jewish principle. Moses, having the beheld the divine glory, descends from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and a glowing countenance only to find the Israelites stampeding with idols. Then, there is Mt. Sinai, Golgotha, and, in the New Testament, the Sermon on the Mount, the holiest of homilies. The “mountain” of this song is less substantial in size, but no less vast in meaning: the mount of Olives, which happens to be the unfortunate setting where Jesus was abandoned by his closest allies, the 12 disciples. Monique’s un-ambitious Sunday school recital here best suits the magnitude of the situation, as if she were instructing, in rueful, plaintive melodies, the theology of death to unsuspecting toddlers.

As we know from Luther, "True theology and recognition of God are in the crucified Christ," and I believe this song brings us, in mind and spirit, to the crux of the matter.

The Gym

Hi everyone! My name is Javier, I'm a student in Washington DC, and this is my first contribution to Mbird. I am really excited to be able to add my 2 cents, as I have been reading for a while now, and this site has been such a blessing to me. I am so thankful for the grace this blog (not to mention Judgment And Love and Who Will Deliver Us?) champions and how it always points me to the Cross.

Anyways, for my first post I wanted to delve into one of the great symbols of pure Law (at least for me): the Gym. I was recently reading a NY Times article: Personal Best: Fitness Isn't An Overnight Sensation and it struck close to home.

When I was a child I was really into sports. Although I grew up all over the world, I always loved soccer and basketball. I watched sports religiously and could name all the stats and players, etc. Gradually, the exposure (somehow) led me to believe that I would one day join the NBA. I played on the local middle school team so - why not right!? Eventually though, as my confidence in telling people I was going to play in the NBA like Jordan grew, certain people got a little worried and tried to knock some realism into me. They would ask, "Do you know how many people want to get into the NBA?" I have never been good at math, but I got the picture, and with crushed dreams, I went back to just watching and admiring.

However, when I got to college, a new wave of athletic hopes came floating in. This time, I wanted to get buff. So, I made a little regiment and began pumping iron my Freshman year. Do not be deceived though, I came back aching all the time, and no matter how many protein shakes I drank, the "buffnesss" never really came. After about five months of trying and trying, I gave up. It just didn't seem to be worth all the effort.

Now that I look back and think about it, I realize that I have grown scared of the gym and sports in general. Whenever I would walk in the gym, I would see people lifting weights who were like three times bigger than me (taller and buffer) and made me want to run away screaming. To me, it was a whole world - with the treadmills, and the ellipticals, and the free weights, etc. And there was a whole code of behavior - to stretch before and after, look in the mirror periodically to revel in the progress, to make it look easy. Plus, I always got the feeling everyone was looking at me. The message was simple: be perfect - have a perfect body and be chiseled like Michelangelo's David! It was and is pure Law to me - telling me what to do, even though I know I can't do it!

It's no mystery now that I never followed through with that program. I even went to the gym the other day to take another stab at it; of course, I chose to go with an ex-marine - I have not been able to extend my arm fully ever since and I think my abs are internally bleeding! I always joke that the only reason I can run on a treadmill is that my motivation is right in front of me - if I stop, I'll break my face! Nowadays, when I do go to the gym, it's because I am listening to a song by Sufjan Stevens or a sermon that tells me that the cross is our salvation. Hallelujah because Christ has delivered us from this body of death!

I leave you with one of Luther's prayers (from a book called Luther's Prayers edited by Herbert F. Brokering) entitled "For Help to Overcome Sense of Unworthiness":

Lord, it is for your honor and to your service that I now ask. Oh be praised and glorified. I plead, fully aware that you have glory, and that I am a poor, undeserving sinner. I cannot be without your help. You are willing and able to grant it all to all who ask for it. Oh see my need and misery, and help me for your honor's sake. Amen.