How To Make A Funeral More Depressing

There was a thought-provoking piece on NPR this morning about the rising popularity of "non-religious" songs being chosen for funerals. Interestingly, the song at the top of the list was Sinatra's "My Way". Here are the lyrics:

My Way
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

This is not at all a commentary on Sinatra himself, but the thought of this song playing at the end of someone's life (especially the last stanza) is more than a little depressing to me. The thought of rocking out to some savory "non-religious" tunes at my funeral, however, is a fine thought indeed!

So I'm just wondering if anyone has any good suggestions for a song that celebrates Love or resurrection, rather than my unfortunate legacy of "doing it my way". For me I'm thinking something by my hero, Billy Joel. And since he seldom writes any songs that relate to anything I believe in, I think I'd go with "Only The Good Die Young" because it would be funny (at any age) or "Movin' Out" just because it's an awesome song. Unfortunately, "River of Dreams" (which may actually be about resurrection) is kinda lame. Forgive me Billy.

Unknown Caller

On my way back from NYC I was rocking out to the new U2 album, trying to stay awake, and got stuck listening to this song over an over again. It made me think of Steve Paulson's - and the Bible's - words about death and resurrection, forgiveness of sins, and Jesus saying, "Go home" to the healed paralytic. Apparently Bono was thinking about this too (or alternatively, perhaps he just has a lot of problems with technology in his life). Either way I could relate.

Footnote: This song immediately follows the track "Moment of Surrender" in which Bono says, "I've been in every black hole, at the altar of the dark star. My body's now a begging bowl that's beggin to get back to my heart...to the rhythm that yearns to be released from control."



Unknown Caller

Sunshine, sunshine
Sunshine, sunshine

I was lost between the midnight and the dawning
In a place of no consequence or company
3:33 when the numbers fell off the clock face
Speed dialing with no signal at all

Go, shout it out, rise up
Escape yourself, and gravity
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Force quit and move to trash

I was right there at the top of the bottom
On the edge of the known universe where I wanted to be
I had driven to the scene of the accident
And I sat there waiting for me

Restart and re-boot yourself
You're free to go
Shout for joy if you get the chance
Password, you, enter here, right now

You know your name so punch it in
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Then don't move or say a thing

The Gospel According to Oprah

Last week my friend Bryan White wrote a wonderfully thought provoking article (on our 40th Street blog) about Oprah Winfrey and her religious beliefs and teachings which, with the help of her "panel of spiritual authorities" (who seem to be on Larry King Live every other night!), have taken America by a storm. Move over Joel Osteen.

So what's the message and why is it so popular? Here's a quote from the article:

"Essentially, this worldview affirms the inherent goodness of human beings. However, one somehow becomes distanced from this purer version of the self as he/she exists in the everyday world. Thus, human beings need liberation. This is achieved through practicing spiritual disciplines of meditation and reflection in order to realize our true connection with the Universe. As one guest on her show put it, we all have an inner light - like one inside a lantern. However, that glass tends to accumulate dirt, preventing the light from emanating in full. Our goal is to repeatedly wipe away the dirt in order that it may continue to shine."

New Years for the Detroit Lions

The Detroit Lions made NFL history on Sunday night, ending their season 0-16 after a 31-21 loss to the Packers at Green Bay. It was the epitome of failure. An article in the NY Times by sportswriter Karen Crouse put it this way:

"The Lions’ emotions swung from hopefulness to helplessness to humiliation as the fact sank in that they had replaced the 1976 expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who finished 0-14, as the benchmark for badness."

Watching part of the second half on Sunday with a friend, I thought to myself: What on earth is their motivation to win this thing? What could the coach possibly say to them at half time? "1-15 means victory boys!" Ugh.

Well, whatever was said, it was enough to keep them hoping well into the fourth quarter that maybe they could come back and somehow not be the worst team of all time, until...some infighting on a promising drive near the end of game earned them a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, which ultimately led them to give up the ball. They did not get it back.

To me, this is a timely illustration about the difference between new years celebrations and new years resolutions. The Lions need to celebrate this new year. As was made evident in the fourth quarter at Lambeau Field, resolutions do not work when you've dug yourself to the bottom of a deep dark pit of failure. At that point, you need to go home and get Billy Idol to help you realize,


"It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start agaaaaaaaaaaaain"

The beauty of New Years Day is a clean slate, and this brings new motivation to be a new person. Unfortunately, resolutions usually bring false-hopes that can only reveal to us how much of the old person still helplessly remains. And that can be humiliating.

So here's to the Lion's resurrection in '09! Happy New Year to all.

5 Life-Changing Quotes (For Me) This Year

1. "I don't believe in resurrection. I don't believe in eternal life. I don't believe in life after death. I don't believe in the hereafter. Those are all opinions. I simply trust Jesus that He will deliver me; as He rose from the dead, so He will raise me. Whatever that means, however it works, I trust Him because in His death is my reconciliation and in my reconciliation is my joy in Him." -- Robert Capon concluding, very oddly, a sermon on The Pharisee & The Tax-Collector (somehow these strange, almost inappropriate words reached me, and assured the deep dark sinner in me that I am really loved by God, even despite my pathetic unbelieving belief)

2. "When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love...

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet...

-- Bob Dylan, from To Make You Feel My Love (not new of course, I've been in love with this song for a while; what was new was hearing it sung as a worship song at my church; i have rarely felt/heard the gospel so clearly in church; thank you Bob)

3. "We're doing it." -- Jason Tambor ("Pop-Pop") on the rumored Arrested Development movie

4. "Throughout Chinese Democracy, the most compelling question is never, 'What was Axl doing here?' but 'What did Axl think he was doing here?'...On the aforementioned 'Sorry,' Rose suddenly sings an otherwise innocuous line ("But I don't want to do it") in some bizarre, quasi-Transylvanian accent, and I cannot begin to speculate as to why. I mean, one has to assume Axl thought about all of these individual choices a minimum of a thousand times over the past 15 years... So why is this the one we finally hear? What finally made him decide, 'You know, I've weighed all my options and all their potential consequences, and I'm going with the Mexican vampire accent. This is the vision I will embrace. But only on that one line! The rest of it will just be sung like a non-dead human.'" -- Chuck Klosterman on Chinese Democracy (as brought to my attention by dz's post last month; i could hardly copy and paste this without tearing up)

5. "Ross, I'm pregnant." -- my wife, Hannah, on being, in fact, pregnant :)(Okay, I'm not exactly sure about the others, but the last one definitely did change my life.)